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My daughter Liv loves to paint. She first started this passion at about 18 months old. That year, my brother–an artist and art teacher–gave her a fabulous gift for Christmas which included the following book, paints and paper.
This was the start of her artistic journey–and it helped keep her occupied for longer than 5 minutes. Better than having her watch the movie SING 15 times a day . . . .
“Mix It Up” by Herve Tullet is an awesome resource for kids to learn how to mix primary colors. It is interactive, colorful (of course) and entertaining. I highly recommend getting it–you can purchase it HERE.
When I first started painting with Liv, she was really too young to understand the whole “blue mixed with red makes purple” business, and all her pictures would just turn, well, brown.
Enter the artist brother who (as per usual) looks at me with total annoyance and utter disbelief that I did not know this and says:
“Control the colors”
Travis Hencey. Artist. Educator. Annoyed Brother. Amazing Uncle.
Well, hell.
Control the Colors
As I was typing this, I realized this quote really applies to life and perhaps, my “ideal” parenting style. When I was pregnant with Liv, I read Bringing up Bebe, a guide to the “wisdom” of French parenting.
I may do a whole post on this book later on, but the author, Pamela Druckerman, speaks frequently about the cadre:
Cadre: frame, or framework. A visual image that describes the French parenting ideal: setting firm limits for children, but giving them tremendous freedom within those lines.
Druckerman, P., Bringing Up Bebe.
So, in reference to this idea of the cadre, instead of giving her ALL the colors, I only give her those that will mix well–red, yellow, blue and white. Just as the Tullet does in Mix It Up . . . I should have just followed instructions in the damn book. Go figure.
I have tile floor in the kitchen and use washable paint. Using painters tape, I tape paper to the floor, give her the paint, a variety of brushes and let her go to town.
Sometimes we read Mix It Up before we paint and sometimes we follow along. But, now she has really gotten the hang of the whole color mixing biz, so lately she’s basically been totally on her own.
The “frame” or “control” exists in her limited color choice and that she is only supposed to paint on the paper (which does not always happen–again, washable paint).
But, she has the freedom to do what she wants in that space. She can choose the brush (or use her hands), mix the colors and create as she sees fit.
Confession
I have tried (much to my brother’s dismay) to give her painting assignments. His philosophy is that she is too young for directives and to become a creative-thinking adult, she must have be able to freely create.
However, my control-freak tendencies sometimes get the best of me and for the love of god, sometimes I just want to show her how to paint a flower, or a tree, or something recognizable.
A few weeks ago, we had a play date with one of her friends and I thought it would be fun for the girls to paint a simple “sunset mountain” scene. While the end result was cute, it required my constant supervision (to make sure they were painting the right colors in the right section of course!) and honestly, it took all the fun out of the activity.
Liv was over it in 2 minutes. Lesson learned. I needed to control my own colors and as Elsa says (and Liv sings ALL THE TIME) . . . “Let it Go!”
You (and my brother) will be happy to know there have since been no more painting assignments.
Mix it Up
To really push my own boundaries and “mix it up”, I recently let Cruz (not quite one at the time), paint with Liv.
Insert laughing, horrified gasps and/or “is she a freaking lunatic” thoughts . . .
Yes, my friends. I do believe in that moment, I lost my ever-loving mind.
I put out a big sheet of poster paper, squirted colors Pollock-style and released the beasts . . . I mean my children.
Cut to 3.5 seconds later, Cruz was headed to the living room covered in paint. Oh, and he ate some. So, we will continue to paint while Cruz naps for the time being.
However, he thoroughly enjoyed the allowed (albeit, quick) mess-making and the clean-up in the sink. More importantly it was entertaining to watch and they created a masterpiece together.
Note: It was 8 a.m., therefore no wine was consumed during this exercise. I have standards. No wine before 10:00. . . a.m.
Anther Note: Wine would have helped. Next time, wait until 10:00 . . . . a.m.
Painting & Life Skills
In my former “career-girl” world, I found the best employees were the ones who you could you could give the “colors” to–colors being the problem or the bones of a project–but then it was up to them to figure it out and bring it back.
You have some control of what you give them, set your expectations but the success of the output is up to them.
Freedom can be intimidating. But the ability to flourish in freedom is powerful.
So, hopefully Liv is well on her way to becoming a successful, creative-thinking, resilient and employable adult. And all because, she painted.
Loving all of your “collections” – wonderfully written ! ❤️
Thanks mama 🙂 love ya