A long answer to a short question about what I “do” to stay thin. In this post you will learn how simple changes lead to a lifestyle of eating and drinking to health—with a little help from the French.
I have been asked several times since I started having a greater social media presence, “How do you stay thin? “Can you share any diet/exercise tips?” “Do you eat?”.
These questions are a little funny and honestly, a little hard to answer because:
- I hate working out.
- I love food (and do eat).
- I drink wine (like, a lot).
However, when my peeps ask a question and want to know more, it’s my job to tell the tale. I mean, that is why I started this blog thing, right?
So, I really got to thinking about what I “do” to maintain my figure. As much as I would like to say I just have great genetics and lounge around all day eating bon bons and guzzling glasses of Sav. Blanc–that isn’t, unfortunately, the case.
What I “do” is more made up of small changes I’ve made over the last 15 years and choices I make daily. All of which have lead to a sort of “lifestyle” (if you will) that allows me to still indulge in food and drink, without the worry of packing on a lot of extra pounds.
The Backstory
It may surprise some of you to learn that I have not always been happy with my weight. Quite on the contrary, actually. I spent most of my teens and twenties secretly agonizing over it. Chalk it up to the typical “American” woman’s obsession with comparison.
I grew up on a traditional Midwestern diet of meat, potatoes and comfort food. My mother cooked at home most of the time and we were fairly active (lots of outdoor play), so the heavier meals balanced themselves out with our lifestyle. We also always sat down to dinner as a family.
However, high school brought on a few challenges to the waistline.
First, my friends and I had the dollar menu memorized at every fast-food joint in town. It was nothing for us to stop a one place for lunch, and another for a snack during the afternoon “cruise”.
Second, I started birth control the summer before my junior year. The change to my hormones automatically added about 5-7 pounds about a month after starting it. But, I actually had regular periods (TMI) and I wasn’t going to get pregnant (no secrets here folks), so it was a fair trade.
College Days
In college, my food choices did not improve much and with the addition of college parties and alcohol, let’s just say I wasn’t losing any weight.
I remained fairly active in high school and college, but fitness was not something I would say I was dedicated to. But, thanks to a decent metabolism, occasional exercise and balancing a full work and school schedule, my weight never got completely out of hand.
But, by the time I graduated from college, I was probably about 15+ pounds over my “normal” weight. Demonstrated here in a photo from my college graduation ceremony.
I still look at this picture and cringe. Too much eyeliner, bad box dye job and a square French-tip manicure. Oh, and the fact that I was massively hungover and my face is the size of a planet. Thank God the graduation robe covers up the rest.
Viva Las Vegas
And then came Vegas. After college, I moved to Sin City for a dream job and an introduction to food, drink and dining experiences I’d never had before. To make up for it, I started working out voraciously.
But I had no idea what I was doing. I spent at least an hour or more in the gym lifting weights and killing myself on the Stairmaster or treadmill, only to see the number on the scale continue to increase.
Granted, I was building muscle . . . under a health layer of marshmallow.
After about 5 months, I saw a number on that scale that I don’t think I ever saw again . . . even when pregnant with either of my babies. A total of 30+ lbs over my normal weight . . .
I have this photo in my hallway and have been asked by several people who the girl in the black is with my mom. Of course, they are shocked when I say it’s me.
The Realization
Now, I am all about self-love. But, I wasn’t making good choices and I knew it. It stared at me in the mirror every morning and on the scale every night after my workout.
There is a difference between loving your body for how it is and using “self-love” as an excuse to let yourself go. And if you are doing so at the detriment of your overall health and well-being, can it really be called “love”?
That’s basically what happened to me and something had to change.
And it did, thank goodness.
Starting with Small Changes
First, I started seeing a gynecologist who changed my birth control. That in itself helped me to shed about 10lbs or so, right off the bat. I am sure the adjustment to a lower hormone and medical advancements in birth control, in general, were at play.
(I am not a doctor and really, don’t know shit–this is just my assumption. Don’t sue me if changing your birth control isn’t a magic weight-loss-bullet).
Then, I got sick with a crazy cold that lasted for a month and I just didn’t have the energy to work out. And after that, I didn’t really get back into it.
Instead, I got my activity from daily movement. I worked at Canyon Ranch SpaClub in the Venetian, which was expanding into the Palazzo resort. It was, at the time of completion, the largest spa in the world by square feet.
My office was on the opposite end of the spa from the salon, which is where I met the majority of my clients. Needless to say, I got my steps in and that’s all the workout I needed.
And lastly, I started being smarter about what I ate and drank.
Rather than hitting up the food court, I brought my lunch from home. Instead of dining out for dinner, I ate at home and reserved restaurant meals for date night or special occasions.
I developed more mature and healthier preferences when it came to alcohol. Instead of downing vodka Red Bull or some other atrociously sweet concoction, I grew to love dry white wine and vodka with soda water (with a lime). Less calories and waaaayyyyyy less sugar.
And, by the time I moved home (about 2.5 years later), I was back to my early-college weight. The last five pounds were thanks in part to some emotional turmoil (you can read that story here). But, the rest I will chalk up to making better choices until they no longer became choices . . . more so just a way of life.
Maintain or Gain
Once I got home, I started working a job where it was easy for me to skip lunch. Not a habit that I am proud of, but it’s real life and I promised authenticity.
I was obsessive about work. It’s one reason I quit to be home with my kiddos, actually. I wasn’t capable of balancing work with mom-life. Work always won.
Work also always won when it came to food. I got in the habit of eating some yogurt or a granola bar, or not eat anything at all for lunch. It was my way of controlling my weight and getting in an extra hour of work.
And later, I didn’t feel bad about the cheese and crackers and extra glasses of wine at happy hour.
Sure, I was thin . . . but it wasn’t sustainable and it wasn’t healthy.
Then, I got pregnant.
News flash. You have to eat when you are growing a human.
So I did. But, I was careful not to indulge in the “eating for two” ideal. I knew I was not capable of losing a bunch of extra baby weight–remember I don’t like to work out. And I was smart enough to know there would not be a lot of “me” time balancing work and a new baby.
Lit Review about What I “Do”
It was late in my pregnancy with Liv (my first child) that I started reading “Bringing up Bebe”, written by an American author, Pamela Druckerman, who was raising her children in France. It is a look at how French parents, parent differently than American parents.
I have provided affiliate links to items in this post and may earn a small commission if you follow the links I provide, at no additional cost to you. Just a way for me to make a few extra bucks to maintain my wine-drinking habit (oh, and this blog). Thank you in advance for your support. My name is Danielle and I like wine.
Bringing Up Bebe
The French parenting-style was intriguing to me, as was her mentions about how French mothers maintain their figures despite the fact that they eat chocolate, cheese, lots of bread and drink wine with almost every meal.
French children also eat very differently than many American children. My husband and I both agreed that our kids would not survive on mac n’ cheese and chicken fingers alone. We are both self-proclaimed “foodies” and exposing our kids to a variety of foods and developing their love for a great meal was important to us.
Druckerman covers this extensively in her book. And because I took my lead from the “French way”, I started eating better myself.
How could I expect Liv to learn from me if I did it wrong in the first place?
French Women Don’t Get Fat
She also referenced another book, “French Women Don’t Get Fat“, by Mireille Guiliano, which I recently finished reading. The French lifestyle is one I seek to emulate (but will never do so perfectly) and helped me to frame up and recognize what I “do” to stay fit for this post.
Guiliano is not a dietitian, nutritionist, or personal trainer. She is a provincial girl (the fabulous way of saying “country”) from France, turned career girl . . . former spokesperson, President and CEO of Veuve Clicquot to be exact. The world-famous, luxury champagne brand.
She also writes the book as a narrative and includes many fantastic and simple French recipes. Oh, and she recommends drinking wine or champagne with lunch and dinner. What’s not to love?
I listened to it first (the French pronunciations are divine) and bought it hard-copy for the recipes. You should definitely do the same.
Both books are an easy read and while some principles may not be practical for everyone, nothing is completely out of left-field (both from the parenting and wellness perspective). And you find many similarities to some of the things I mention in this post.
Post-Baby Revelations
With both of my children, I lost the weight relatively easily and quickly. I did breastfeed (which was primary to my success), ate thoughtfully and drank tons of water (you can’t skip a lot of meals or get dehydrated when you are breastfeeding).
Every morning, Liv and I (and now Cruz) started having breakfast together. Most of the time I made something (even when I was working)–like scrambled eggs, pancakes or oatmeal, all served with fruit. But we also enjoy our fair share of cereal and milk too.
When I was working, I would often use my lunch hour to come home and feed the baby. This also forced me to actually eat something of merit.
Now that I am home, the kids and I sit down and eat lunch together. And, we do the same at dinner. Three meals a day. Just about every day.
As for exercise, I am going to refer to it as movement. Because I am doing it. ALL THE TIME. Except for when I sit down to write or record stories for Instagram, of course.
I have two very active little people. One of which (Cruz) who is completely hell-bent on seriously injuring himself at every turn. He NEVER stops. So, I don’t either and supplement by having more wine to keep me sane.
During the colder months when we can’t spend as much time outdoors, I do the occasional barre or Pilates workout on the OpenFit app. I like that I can do it at home, the workouts are only 30 minutes and it helps with balance and flexibility.
In essence, having my babies saved me. It forced me to eat in a healthy, non-self-sabotaging way, learn to drink more water, and introduced me to the “French” way of thinking.
The Short List: What I “Do”
So, here is your reward for reading ALL that. The culmination of what I do, summarized in bullet points.
- No fast food.
- It’s not that I don’t EVER eat it, I just don’t eat it very often. That means only a handful of times every year. It is a weakness of mine and I know that–so I avoid it.
- We do dine out in restaurants but it is not typically a weekly occurrence, rather two or three times a month (give or take). Because it is a treat, I order what I want and don’t kill myself over it.
- Eat three meals a day (with mindful snacking if needed).
- Sit down to eat.
- I try to eat all of my meals (breakfast, lunch and dinner) at the table. With plates and silverware. I found that when I ate on the run I was less satisfied because I didn’t even pay attention to what I was eating. So, now I try to sit down and enjoy my meal (despite the fact that it is nearly impossible with two kids always needing something, but at least I make the effort.)
- Eat real food.
- We eat at home and prepare meals from fresh ingredients most of the time.
- When I grocery shop, I avoid the center aisles and the freezer section (however I do buy frozen vegetables for use in a pinch and sometimes ice cream . . . no explanation needed). We are blessed to have locally raised and butchered beef and pork in our freezer, so I usually only have to buy chicken.
- When preparing a meal it typically consists of a protein and vegetable (and/or salad). I don’t go crazy with sides.
- We do eat soups and pasta in the winter–made with canned ingredients and heavy sauces. But it’s not an every night thing. Balance is key.
- Eat avocado.
- I eat a lot of avocados. So do my kids. For so many reasons (which you can Google), but it is a diet staple for me.
- No soda/pop.
- I never drink pop. Ever. It is a very rare occasion and if it happens, I go big. A cold Coke. But that’s like once or twice a year. It just seems like a waste of calories and WAY too much sugar.
- Drink Water.
- I wake up and drink water, drink water all day and go to bed with water. It is essential and does wonders for my complexion. If I’ve not had enough, I crave it. Not a bad problem to have.
- Black Coffee.
- I have one to two cups of black coffee in the morning. No creamer. Again, just added calories and sugar. Also, I rarely drink a latte or cappuccino or frappe–despite being a barista in my early working years. I save my beverage indulgences for the next bullet point.
- Drink Wine.
- But to be specific, dry, white wine or champagne. Both have less calories and less sugar. On occasion, I enjoy a good red wine with steak (a Pinot Noir or Cabernet Sauvignon). Something I am not great at is moderation . . . but we all have to have something to work on, right?
- Make exercise out of everyday activity
- I used to work in an office setting and spent most of the day sitting at my desk or in meetings. Since being home and having to chase two crazy kids, I have seen a noticeable difference in how I look.
- So, take the stairs instead of the elevator, walk to work, mow your yard with a push mower, have a dance party. Or get two kids under the age of 4. Just some suggestions.
Choosing to do better
Obviously, I have bad days were I eat 27 Oreo’s and drink an entire bottle of wine (the latter happens way more than it should), but I just try to do better the next day.
Sometimes doing better means working out rather than just my usual, daily activity. Other times it is eating avocado toast for lunch instead of chicken fingers with the kids (which they do get on occasion).
There is no perfect way or magic formula to what I do. And you will not lose weight overnight or drop 30 pounds in a month. But, in my experience, making thoughtful choices lead to successful and sustainable weight loss without feeling unfulfilled.
The key is to figuring out what things you just don’t need to do/have (or at least things you can scale way back on) and learning to enjoy the rest in moderation.
Except wine. That one I still need to work on . . . but, then hell–what would I have to talk about . . .
Lastly, for the love of God, be realistic and honest with yourself. And, start with self-love. The kind where you are making these changes for you and no one else. Because we all deserve to love the way look without killing ourselves to achieve it.
Oh, and visit with a medical professional before starting any diet or exercise plan.
Cheers,
